Sunday, August 14, 2011

NYC Royalty 2: Coronation

As has already been made known at the end of my previous post, I married my prince charming during my long weekend in NYC back in April. For reasons I'll reveal at the end of this post, we had to get hitched as soon as possible. Although I have no acquaintances in New York myself, my current ex-husband (we're getting an annulment as quickly as we were hitched) had several. Luckily a good number of them were able to make it to our snappy, spirited, and sprightly sacrament.

We had some high class famous guests at our ceremony!

Including some of his coworkers!

The food was fantastic!
(Yes, we got married in a local Starbucks)

And this is the end result and the reason why we married so quickly.
We had a baby!
But alas, like the vast majority of celebrity marriages our whimsical union did not last long. Soon I will expose my once enchanted lover as the philandering puppet he is!

Sadly, our love child had to stay behind but baby I promise! Next time mommy is able to go to NYC I'll come back for you! I just gotta find you a new daddy first! Preferably a sweet and sugary one. Momma's got quite the sweet tooth and a baby to a sugar daddy is like a dentist to a cavity. 

Maybe that's the real reason I gained all that weight, too much sugar.

-The Ex-Mrs. Elmo


  1. It's a sad, sad statement about the current state of marriage in America.

    I expect I'll be reading any day now that Elmo - estranged from his red monkey of a son - is checking himself into rehab.

    (Try to talk him into "Celebrity Rehab" on Vh1 so we can watch him crashing and burning!)

  2. I'm glad you two split ways so quickly. I don't think you would have wanted to hear Elmo during your honeymoon. That high pitched shrill might have drove you nuts.

  3. I was almost named 'Peter' but since my last name is Cotton my family thought it wise to give me another first name... Imagine, "Here comes Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail!" I would have been scarred.

    I'm sorry to hear about your divorce... I hope it's not hard on the kids! Anyway, I just read the last post and boy that was silly. Be well and I'm glad because you do so well with the paparazzi; you made it look so natural.

  4. Congratulations on becoming a single mom! As a wedding/divorce present, I'll be sending you skin cream for the bags that will develop under your eyes, and self help books for the emotional bitterness that will strike any day now.

  5. Elmo is a love rat....fantastic my admiration for him has gone up.....For your second annulment might I suggest the Cookie Monster....

  6. Congratulations.

    I admire you for being so strong.