NYC Royalty 3: Abdication

I know this post is a couple weeks late but I've only recently been barely able to peel my shattered soul from the ground.

What started as a wonderful whirlwind of  whimsical worship of the Hollywood romance movie type has now turned into a bona fide celebrity feud. Dead is the paparazzi dubbed "Natalmo" or "Elmatalia" and left in its place is pain and hatred. Not even our beautiful love child can save the disastrous train wreck of a relationship. I was PERFECT and he has to go and do something like this to me?!

What could destroy what everyone believed was the perfect relationship? It breaks my heart so much that I can't bring myself to say (or type) the horrendous deed. I will, however, share

I was minding my own business, surfing the waters of Twitter in search of waves of hilarity on this social networking beach of sarcasm. What I caught was a massive jellyfish sting to the heart that all the urine in the world cannot relieve.

http://twitpic.com/64ypib

Hope that blonde bitch was tickled. I sure as hell am not.

All I can say, is that a picture is worth a thousand words.

-Natalia

"No it's not you, it's my ovaries."

One of my degrees is in psychology. One of my hobbies is reading. Sometimes I put these two things together and read articles from Psychology Today. A few months back I came across this gem of an article about "The Double Life of Women" by Annie Murphy Paul. One of the many interesting facts I learned from this is that apparently the type of guy a woman is physically attracted to changes with her ovulation cycle.

"In the two days or so of the ovulatory phase—the time when women are most likely to become pregnant—they gravitate toward men with more "masculine" traits. That means a man who sports a leaner, V-shaped body, and a face with a squarer chin, straighter, heavier eyebrows, and thinner lips; one who speaks in a lower-pitched voice, and displays more aggressive, dominant behavior. When a woman is in the follicular or luteal phases—during which the uterus sheds its lining and then builds it up again, and in which she generally cannot become pregnant—she prefers men with softer features, less-defined bodies, higher voices, and a gentler manner."

Translation: Women want to be dominated when they're fertile and dominate when they are not.

Interesting, huh? Even more interesting for me is that, being a female w/a cycle, I can do a little unofficial experimentation using myself as the participant. Here's what I found.

The last 6 weeks or so I started watching the show "Criminal Minds" after one of my co-workers recommended it to me. I was told the psychological puzzles would tickle my brain in ways that only Freud can. My co-worker was right. However, my something else also felt a bit tickled after being introduced to 2 particular characters on the show:

Derek Morgan (played by Shemar Moore):

Booty calling

Dr. Spencer Reid (played by Matthew Gray Gubler):

Wishing he knew what booty was like

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the series the pictures above give a pretty accurate impression of the characters. Agent Morgan is a super fit, badass alpha male. Agent/Dr. Reid is the super skinny young prodigy who is all brain, no physical strength, and unbelievably awkward (especially around women close to his age). In fact, in a season 6 episode they actually mention that he couldn't pass any of the physical tests at the academy but since he's so smart they made an exception. As I've been following the series I've noticed that as my mood (aka ovulation cycle) changes so does my favorite character.

Some days I can't help but fantasize that I'm the one he's handcuffing for being so naughty.

"M'am, I'm gonna need you to drop your panties"

Other days my mind won't stop ruminating on the thought of handcuffing Dr. Reid to my bed after having him read me a bedtime story from the Kama Sutra. Oh, the things I'd do to him!

Ooh, baby! I love it when you talk nerdy to me!

My co-worker said this show was right up my alley but she never mentioned that a couple of its characters would get up my something else.

Decisions, decisions. Am I in a sadistic or masochistic mood tonight?

This probably won't be the last time I blog about Criminal Minds but it definitely will be the last time I blog about my cycle of fertility.

I am insanely weird. . .

The Lock to Success is Also The Key

Back in late May/early June I took a mini-road trip to Alabama to attend a wedding but before arriving we made a one night stop in New Orleans. While sight-seeing throughout that magical moral city I stopped to learn a lesson from a wise, wise man (apparently I love to learn).

"Lemme give you kids some advice..."

This video pretty much sums up his wise words of wisdom:

"And that's how you become successful!"

I'm thinking this guy is totally legit. He's got a permanent position in New Orleans.

Currently listening to: "All I Ever Wanted" album by the Airborne Toxic Event because all I ever wanted was an easy way to be good at life. Keep an eye out for me in the near future. I'm pretty damn good at failing and I've got over 2 decades worth of practice!